Thanks

I felt like I needed to make this post. I know reading over some of my posts, I notice mis-spelt words, missing words and badly place sentences. But it is the laziness in me that does not go back and correct it. I guess I am saying thanks to accepting my flaws.

Break time

I did some writing during work yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel lost. Stop signs, direction signs does nothing for my mental health. I have questions but I don't know these questions. So I don't expect answers if I don't have the questions. I feel so lost.

I reach deep within me,
And pull out nothing.
My insides are empty,
Haunted by my own worries.

I search deep within me,
And I find fear.
These fears, they are growing
With me each day.

I search deep within me,
And I find saddness.
This saddness, drowns only
Some of my happy thoughts.

I search deep to the bottom of me,
And I found hope.
This hope, it kept my inside
Bright to my darkest fears and saddness.

I look at them all in front of me,
Fears, saddness and hope.
I reach out and place them back in me.
After all they are a part of me.

Triggers, Bam Bam

I am on a training for my job. Seeing that I am a csr, I have to know ways of dealing with customers. Especially, irate customers. So we have to identify our triggers as not to blow up or to lose control. Now, I haven't blow up at my job or my personal life, but I have identify a few things that tick me off.

1. Loud breathing. It wasn't a problem before until I sat next to my friend for two days and heard him breathing. I still have one more day to hear that when the room is quiet. Bear in mind, he is sitting across the table from me and not next to me.
   
2. Loud sucking. The sound of a sweetie knocking against to someone teeth is sickening now. My same friend has made me aware to this sound today.
3. The phrase "you just working there"

But the real triggers are the ones at are emotional attached though. The ones where you forgot are dealing with someone and you think you are screaming at a memory. I haven't pin point anything like that yet. I can search myself though. So, it is a good thing to know your triggers so that your amygdala wouldn't be hijacked. You wouldn't want to be screaming at someone who doesn't deserve it.

Birthday Calculator

Birthday Calculator

I thought that it was going to be a waste of time clicking that link but, the data was interesting. Especially my life path. It describe me more less.

My data -

You entered: 8/22/1984

Your date of conception was on or about 30 November 1983 which was a Wednesday.

You were born on a Wednesday
under the astrological sign Leo.
Your Life path number is 7.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 4 & 22.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 3, 6, 8 & 11.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2445934.5.
The golden number for 1984 is 9.
The epact number for 1984 is 27.
The year 1984 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/2/1984 and ending 2/19/1985.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rat.

As of 6/19/2006 9:20:22 PM EDT
You are 21 years old.
You are 262 months old.
You are 1,139 weeks old.
You are 7,971 days old.
You are 191,325 hours old.
You are 11,479,520 minutes old.
You are 688,771,222 seconds old.

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.11976516634051 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

There are 64 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 22 candles.

Your birthstone is Peridot
The Mystical properties of Peridot

Peridot is used to help dreams become a reality.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Sardonyx, Diamond, Jade

Your birth tree is

Cedar, the Confidence

Of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, determined, impatient, wants to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy, optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning crescent.

Well I delete some stuff but the info to me was really cool.

Attention: Poetry Time

Hope Sunrise, Heartbreak Sunset

The sun rises with hopes of love.
The love that I have for someone.
But, I am in love with
Someone who loves another.
Seeing each day, his love
Growing for someone else.
Knowing well that my love
Can be as strongs as his.
I am ready, to give to him
Everything and more, that
He may want from me or anybody.
But still, he loves another...
Who don't love as strong as him.
I wish that he would
Touch and hold me,
The same way he held her.
His smiles, I want to be
The reasons for his smiles.
His eyes, shows all the love
That he have for her.
My eyes, shows the same for him.
I wish that he can see that.
But, as the sun sets once again,
There is still heartbreak for me.

Maturing

Can people really define it through their personal experiences? To me, sometimes it is slow. The process can be seen through small and many occasions of changes. Then sometimes it is a replica of the big bang. It just hits you. You are older now.

I can see my maturing process through several occasions. Little things that I do differently and things that I see not necessary anymore. But I always feel that I will keep my silliness and the little girl in me. I dont have funa nd do wild and silly things, it is best I pretend to be someone else.

Poetry Break

Come Join Me

I see within my body
A beautiful, quiet garden.
The lush gras holds
Onto my dying youth.
And a lake that is there
To catch all my tears.
The trees and flowers I saw
Grew from my happiness and joy.
The bird there within chirps
To run way my sorrows.
In this garden,
It is never dark and gloomy.
In this garden,
The light is always
Shining bright from memories.
Memories that I shared with you.