True from my heart

I have gotten in the habit of writing towards a person of thinking about. It helps clarify my inner thoughts when I feel I said my piece to an imaginery them. Lust is a funny thing. Having crushes is the worse but it is life. My journal was:

"True from my heart. Let me speak to you a moment. Let us converse for a moment that will be real for the both of us. I have something to tell you. I have always seen you. And, I know that you didn't see me. But that didn't sadden me. I felt drawn to you for reasons I did not know. I had only now seen you, and knew that I like you. Being as shy as I am, I didnot approach you much and hardly said anything. Our friendship started as a pure accident. A mistake that I was glad to make, or else I really wouldn't have known you much. Every time I see you I smile.

Only three people know that I liked you, and that was too many. I don't like my feelings to be known, especially when I can be hurt by them. I also found out that you have a girlfriend. I am not shocked by this, as most good guys are always taken. I also found out that you also like somebody else. This I really didn't want to know, but my friend thought it best I do. But I cannot let that change my feelings for you. One of my friends feels that you are attracted to me. I believe you see me as good friend. A sister even. Just somebody cool.

But I cannot and will not be made at you. You are not aware of my feelings. I am not going to let anything change. My feelings are my burden and my blessings. Knowing you will be good for me. I dont know what the future will lead to. Our relationship is only now growing. But I like you. An attraction that I am proud of and cherish. Be close to me all times. These feelings are true from my heart."

End of entry