Look past my expression

I wonder if people understand me. I know that they don't and I know that they don't even try. At times, I can just fall so quiet and stay to meslef. All I want to hear is music around. Nothing else. I wish for two things in my life. One - Friendship like the girls on Sex and the City. Two - To find love that resemble a fairy tale. But as much as I will feel sad, I can not complain. My life is simple and quiet. Most days will past before something exciting finds its way to me.
I have been told before that "you have to happy yourself happy". I agree with that advice but I usually and always I have to go with someone else's time. Hang out when they want to. Most of the friends that have, well the girls, they got boyfriends, and they spend most of their time with their boos. I am happy for them. These friends always make sure that they have boyfriends, and I wasn't life that. I made a vow to myself that my next boyfried, I must have some real feelings for him. Nothing is going to be on whim like before.
Then the guys that hang out with me is cool. Few of the guys like me but they got girlfriends, and I don't do that cheating thing. If I don't know, well then. But dont tell me you have a woman... and child, and then say that you real like me and want a kiss. It will never happen.

But I still wonder, if people does look behind my eyes, and detect any kind of feelings. But then again, I can hide very good. I let them see what I want them to see. But the guy find I to love, better be able to read me like a frigging book. He better be able to make me free up. Cause I can, I am just keeping for him.

Ha ha. But I am saving some really good parts for him.